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Ashamed of sadness
It’s ironic how happiness seems so close but then it’s gone. I love the progress I’ve made but I just can’t get past this empty feeling that rips away at my confidence. I don’t want to be this way. I definitely don’t want to feel this way anymore. I really have been having the greatest weekend. Three full days of colorguard. I’m mean intense, non stop learning. It feels amazing to be making progress. I’m a primary weapon and I absolutely love it. So at this point I’m asking myself, so why then Loette are you so sad. Well as we learned drill I found out I have multiple solos in the opener, which is great and completely fine with me. Then tons of corp people and staff keep telling me how good I am. I was even called fierce. I love it. But some how I end up asking myself if I am so great then why am I still alone and why can’t get one guy to look at me? Why do I care so much? There goes any confidence I have. Some non existent force completely breaks me. I really have been having a great weekend :/
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Good or bad
She makes me feel like a terrible person for not wanting to put up with her alcoholism…is it wrong of me to just be fed up…how much can a person tolerate before they completely cut ties…yes she’s my mother but I want nothing to do with this person she’s become…how wrong am I? Am I suppose to keep living with the abuse because she gave me life.
Photo reblogged from You don't know me at all with 77,538 notes
My thoughts exactly.
Source: forever-doope
Photoset reblogged from I'm not beautiful like you; I'm beautiful like me. with 240 notes
I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.
Source: robbstarksscrunchyface
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